Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
