Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
