he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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