I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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