I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
