Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I'm at about main and main street
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
