you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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