Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
