it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
