Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
