theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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