When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize