rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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