There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
It's just like the Real World with babies
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
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