My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
