Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
