I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
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