he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
