All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
