i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
