no, he came in my armpit
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
