have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
