I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
