I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
