She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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