So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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