i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
