Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
