you would pick up someone in the library
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize