Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
