i don't like sucking hair
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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