ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
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