Grow some girl-balls and come out already
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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