based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
