I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize