Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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