He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
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