thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
