I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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