if only i could text you this smell
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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