i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
