wanna go halves on a baby?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
