listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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