Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I'm really busy with my period
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize