I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
