btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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