Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
