I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
