You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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