found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
