Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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