i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
