I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize