I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
