singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
