if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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