Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
