Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
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