Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
that may or may not have been my penis.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize