I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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