they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
