Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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