Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
This is classic penis vs brain.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
