whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
