Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
He has the fingertips of a God
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
